Burdened Souls: Can Love Save a Burdened Soul? (The Burned Souls Series Book 1) Read online

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Epilogue

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication and Acknowledgements

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Burdened Souls

  By

  Jessi McPherson

  A Smoke and Mirrors Book

  Smoke and Mirrors Ink, 83 Ducie Street, Manchester, M1 2JQ www.smokeandmirrorsink.com

  First published by Jessi McPherson 2016

  This version published by Smoke and Mirrors Ink 2017

  BURDENED SOULS

  © Copyright Jessica McPherson 2016

  All rights reserved.

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events and organisations are purely coincidental.

  ASIN B0727S7B92

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, nor translated into a machine language, without the written permission of the publisher.

  Condition of sale

  This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  Cover design © Copyright Smoke and Mirrors Ink 2017

  Cover design by Lindsey Jayne

  Editing Angie Wade

  Book formatted by Taniquelle Tulipano

  Dedication and Acknowledgements

  This book is dedicated to my family because they believed in me but most importantly my husband. Without your love and support I never would have finished this book and the words would still be floating around in my head. I love you Roger.

  Thank you to my amazing new friends at Smoke and Mirrors, R.L Weeks and Taniquelle Tulipano, for the opportunity.

  Chapter 1

  I sat at the kitchen island twiddling my thumbs waiting for Caleb, my best friend and roommate, to get home. I interviewed this morning at a new restaurant that was opening, and they gave me the job on the spot. My foot tapped the floor as I waited impatiently for him. I’ve felt like a bum since moving back here two months ago, despite still paying my share of the bills. I think it’s mostly being home when he’s at work, and being home alone with my thoughts usually ends badly for me. What’s that saying? Idle hands are the devil’s play things. He tries his best to get me out on the weekends and keep me social, but it’s hard putting myself out there right now.

  “Josi, sweetie, are you ready to go?” he called, walking through the front door and noticing me at the island.

  I roll my eyes and grab my purse. I would never admit it to him, but going out on the weekends wasn’t as fun or distracting as he’d like it to be. Maybe with the new job, and him trying to keep me out of my head, things will start looking up.

  “Josilyn Michaels, that just won’t do tonight. Back to your room. I’m going to fix you up,” he snapped.

  No matter what I wore Caleb always found a way to sex it up a bit. I know his intentions are good, but he also knows I’m not ready to jump into any type of relationship.

  He tore through my closet looking for the right shirt, not noticing me tapping my foot at him. He grabbed a purple T-shirt and held it up. “Is this special?” he asked.

  “Nope just a T-shirt. I got some good news,” I say and see his eyes light up.

  “Great, come with me,” he said, ignoring the good news part, pulling me into his room, and stripping off my current top. He pulled the shirt he picked out on over my head, and started cutting and tying. I was always amazed at the things he could come up with, and on such short notice. He had talent, and by the time he was done I had a one-shoulder shirt. He twirled me around.

  “Does it show?” I asked.

  “Sweetie you know me better than that. It’s covered,” he said, kissing my head. He knew I hated people seeing the scar on my back because then they asked questions I wasn’t ready to answer. “Perfection, let’s go.”

  “Wait, I have good news. I had an interview today and I got a job,” I exclaimed. “I start Monday.”

  “Well, I guess we are celebrating,” he said, hugging me and spinning me around. “Did you tell them about your cooking experience?”

  I shook my head, “Yes, but I’m not ready to get back into that yet, sweetie. I told them I was only interested in waitressing.” He nodded knowing my hesitancy.

  Caleb LeFluer has been my best friend ever since we were in diapers. His parents and mine were great friends, and we are two peas in a pod as my mother would say. He has this natural energy about him that makes him easy to like and be around. Whenever he’s around, people feel at peace and happy. My mother would have said it’s his peaceful soul. His emerald green eyes stood out against his tan complexion and his dark brown hair, which he ultimately blames his gypsy ancestors for. He wore his gypsy soul proud and it came as no surprise when he told me he was gay. I smiled and responded with, “I always knew.” Not very many straight men spent as much time in front of a mirror as he did.

  I was staying at Caleb’s house the night my parents died in a car crash. He held me and cried with me all night, until there were none left to cry. After the funeral, I moved to Iowa to live with my grandmother, as she was my only living relative. We made a promise to talk every day and I promised him when I was able, I’d move back. He was there for me during one of the darkest times of my life, and helped me regain my strength and confidence. He’s been the one constant thing in my life.

  “Where are we going tonight?” I asked.

  “There’s a feather party at Jake’s, and Trevor is working. I thought we’d go there.” Jake’s wasn’t far from our apartment and thankfully it was a nice night for a walk. The August storms had ebbed for the moment, leaving the night cool and fresh. The energy seemed to flow from every living thing down here during the night and it was intoxicating.

  New Orleans never disappointed when it came to energy and life. Even in her darkest hours the communities came together to bring life back into the city. It has helped pull me out of this dark state of mind. I couldn’t stay depressed long after moving here and being around the amazing people once again.

  Jake’s has an open floor plan nightclub with a magnificent circle bar in the middle. In the center of th
e bar, laser lights give an awesome effect of water falling. Zach, the door guy tonight, always tried to flirt. He told me he had a crush on me when we were in elementary school. I didn’t have the heart to tell him no, so I always play coy.

  “Josi, are you going to save me a dance later?” he asked, waving me inside.

  “Well darn the luck if I’m not leaving before your last break,” I joked. I handed my coat to the checker, then headed toward the bar. You could already feel the electricity coursing through the place, but it always took me a little while to loosen up and get comfortable. “I’ll have a vodka and cranberry with a lime please,” I yelled to Trevor. He is Caleb’s boyfriend and I rather love him. They are perfect for each other. Trevor seems to tame the occasional wild side Caleb has.

  A couple minutes later with a drink in my hand, I found a corner and got comfy. I knew it would only take Caleb a couple songs to find me and make me dance and then I’d be out there all night. I’d become rather fond of people watching since moving back, but Caleb insisted that I get out and move. He knew that if I sat to long, I’d retreat into my own head and call it an early night.

  The music pulsed and flowed as I sat quietly, then just as I was taking a sip of my drink, a very drunk couple almost crashed into me. Thankfully, someone pulled me out of the way. I held tight to the arms embracing me, and slowly looked up into the most beautiful, steely-blue eyes I had ever seen. His hands caressed my arm and the electricity startled me. Standing before me was Adonis in the flesh. A hint of a smile and the startled look in his eyes told me he felt it too.

  “Thanks,” I said regaining my composure.

  Slowly he released me and took a step back. He didn’t say a word, just nodded and walked away. His touched lingered after he left and hummed through my veins. I let my eyes follow him and took in his whole appearance. The man stood at least six and half feet tall, and his dark shirt was covering beautifully stacked abs with just a hint of a tattoo just above his collar, but his eyes were what pulled you in. It was a sea of hidden emotions, but one look captured you and held you in place. He was a predator in all forms of the word, but in a good way. Currently, I wished it was me he was stalking. I was about to approach him when Caleb finally found me.

  “Hey Caleb. Who’s the guy by the booth?” I asked pointing in the man’s direction.

  Caleb scoffed, “That’s Dillon Shade. He’s the bouncer, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Nobody’s ever seen him give a girl the time of day.”

  “Why haven’t I ever noticed him before?” I asked.

  “He usually tries to keep a low profile,” Caleb explained, grabbing my hand succeeding in getting me on the dance floor.

  I’d occasionally see Dillon and could swear he was looking at me, but he’d quickly advert his gaze. His beautiful eyes toyed with me and pulled on my broken heart strings. It’s odd that I felt such connection to someone without even speaking to them. Was that even possible? Maybe it was lack of sex—given my sudden quest to become celibate after years of being a self-proclaimed nymphomaniac—but he pulled at a part of me I tried so hard to bury. I wasn’t ready to move on, but something told me that if he pursued me I wouldn’t be able to resist. My body ached to be touched by him again, and my sex was throbbing to find out if he could hold his own, but I knew the moment I tried anything, my mind would overreact and I would melt down. Damn my ex for fucking up my life and placing this irrational fear in me.

  My feet were aching and I was happily buzzed when I finally managed to convince Caleb I needed to get home. The sandman was pulling on my eyes and I needed to get a few winks before going in and filling out paper work tomorrow. Bags under my eyes probably wouldn’t be a good look.

  Dillon’s beautiful eyes were all I could think about while I laid in bed trying to drift off. I finally fell asleep thinking about what he would be like as a boyfriend.

  It was pleasant sitting on the beach under an umbrella with him holding me. The sun was warm and the air was sweet. Waves crashed in the distance. His embrace got tighter and then the sky turned dark. A chill went up my spine and I was suddenly on the floor in my old kitchen.

  I woke up in a pool of sweat with Caleb holding me.

  “That one didn’t seem too bad. You didn’t shake near as violently.”

  “Maybe I’m getting better. Thank you,” I said snuggling into him.

  “Will you need these?” He asked holding up my anti-anxiety medicine.

  “No, I think I’m OK. Will you stay awhile?”

  He nodded and pulled the covers over me. I think I was right, it was getting a little easier to handle the nightmare. Maybe I was ready to let my soul move on. Maybe moving back to New Orleans had been just what I needed to recover.

  ***

  After filling out my paperwork, I spent the rest of the weekend at home relaxing. I couldn’t stop thinking about Dillon and imaging his arms holding me tight. I wanted time to relax and collect my thoughts before heading back into the workforce, and with Caleb working I got just that. The only time I left the house was to grab food from the grocery store and go for quick runs. I was sitting on the couch when my phone rang.

  “Hello,” I answered.

  “Afternoon Josilyn, just wanted to touch base with you.”

  “Oh, good, hello Mr. Collier. Yes, thank you.”

  “It looks like things are still going as planned. I’m hoping to shoot for a December or January trial date. Will that be OK?”

  “Yes, that will work. I just took a job, so if you get something set please let me know as soon as possible so I can take the time off.”

  “I will dear. How are you holding up? Have you been seeing anyone?”

  I try not to sigh, but fail. “I have been fine. Getting away has helped. Thank you for asking.”

  “OK dear. I will check in with you in a couple weeks or if anything changes.”

  “Thank you. Have a good day.”

  Chapter 2

  Monday morning, I decided on going for a run before heading to work. I needed to relax and get my mind into work mode. The route I ran took me past the park where a Cross Fit group worked out. The instructor was hot so it was no wonder there were several girls in the class. I would almost pay to be in that class just to look at his beautifully tanned body, almost. The tiger tattoos on his chest scored him more points in my book as well. He was putting his group through the ringer today, so I decided to stop and take a five-minute break. Those poor souls were exhausted. You could tell from where I stood, sweat was dripping off them. I tried not to laugh too hard as I continued my run. I finally rounded the corner to our apartment an hour later and headed straight up for a shower.

  ***

  Claudia’s was scheduled to open two weeks from now, so everyone would be in training until then. It is a small, elegant restaurant and bistro with a menu that is rustic with a little traditional flare.

  “OK ladies and gentlemen, we have a full training schedule for the next two weeks. A few of you have experience, so I’d like you to help those that don’t. I’ve set up the section map on the bar with your area marked off. This will always be your section useless you switch shifts with anyone,” Marissa the restaurant manager explained. “For now, I’ll leave you with Marcus to go over the menu and train. If you have questions, see him.” She smiled as she walked away and Marcus stood up.

  “Alright, I know five of you have a bit more experience than the rest so I’m going to group you up for training,” he said looking around. “Carrie, I’d like you to take Colleen and Stacey. Derrick please take Desi and Jackie. Courtney please get with Zach and Jessica. Michael please take Sarah, Ryan, and Jordan. Josilyn please get with Zoe, Stephanie, Amber, and David. I’ve got packets for you on what I’d like you to go over. Josilyn can I talk with you a second?”

  I nodded and walked over to him.

  “Hey, I was talking to Marissa, and I’d like to offer you a shift supervisor position under me. Just so we have someone here who knows what they’re doing be
sides me and can help keep an eye on things. With your background, I think you’ll be perfect.”

  I smiled, “Sounds great. Is Marrissa okay with that too? I don’t want to overstep and do you have any idea what the schedule’s going to be like?”

  “She’ll be good with it.”

  We sat and talked everything over and then I went about training my group. The food menu was easy but everything else was taking its toll on them. I tried my best not to get upset or laugh when one of them made a mistake, but one of my girls managed to spill all but one of her trays and break several plastic glasses in the process. I had a week to show them the basics, and then another to fine-tune everything. Three of my four were high school students so I’d be working twelve hour shifts these next two weeks. The idea was daunting, but it would keep me busy and out of my own head. I knew I had my work cut out for me when Amber, one of my high school students, asked what front of the house meant.

  I made copies of the menu and told them I wanted them to become very familiar with it.

  “Do you mean memorize it?” Stephanie, another of the high school girls asked.

  “If you can that’s great. If not just, try to remember what we have. It will make it easier while taking orders. A lot of this is memory of who ordered what for dinner and which drink goes to whom. If you are unsure of anything, once we open just find me or Marcus.” They all nodded. I could only hope they picked this up quickly. “Always remember to be polite. If the kitchen is in the weeds, inform your guests and check on your tables often. You will have customers that you can’t please, but just keep smiling. It’s all about communication and keeping them happy.”

  “What do we do if we have a complaint about the food?” Amber asked.

  “Do want you can to correct it. Always make it right. Never ever blame them. They may have told you wrong but we must fix it. That’s all for today, so I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

  ***

  “Girl you look exhausted!” Caleb said as I walked through the door. I just huffed and flopped on the couch. Finding what little energy I could, I kicked off my shoes.